I had this thought during my midday shower today, that I respect and trust my body more than ever before.
It is not the most comfortable place of late, it will no longer get me on page six or win me an olympic medal, but for heavens sake, it assembled a fully functioning human being out of a microdrop of sperm.
I also think that pregnancy is a wonderful and rare chance for women to reconnect with the natural world. You have to trust your body above all; more than your doctor, your midwife, your mothering friends, your baby-grow vitamins and your calcium supplements. Books are placebo, the internet is overkill, no app on your 4G Iphone will get you far.
It has to be you natural physical ability and your god-given animal instinct.
You have to listen to them most.
You have to let them take over.
I have never thought it is possible to feel so out of control and powerful at the same time.
Cue Lion King.
23/02/2011
14/02/2011
I love Budapest
So for a month discovered one of his places of origin in his flesh and blood incognito.
He floated from streets to coffees, museums, friends-flats and theaters - a friendly little ghosts of times to come lingering in the cold unseen swallowing his mothers culture and amniotic fluid to equal measure hopefully.
We listened to nagymamas voice, tasted cottagecheesballs and gulyas, even listened to gipsy music, took yellow cabs and unmeasurable amount of unsolicited Hungarian advise.
Now we are back on the island ready to proceed.
Grow my boy.
He floated from streets to coffees, museums, friends-flats and theaters - a friendly little ghosts of times to come lingering in the cold unseen swallowing his mothers culture and amniotic fluid to equal measure hopefully.
We listened to nagymamas voice, tasted cottagecheesballs and gulyas, even listened to gipsy music, took yellow cabs and unmeasurable amount of unsolicited Hungarian advise.
Now we are back on the island ready to proceed.
Grow my boy.
11/02/2011
Round days
She who is big and is humming with two lifes has a new haircut.
Is still in Budapest, but days are running painfully short.
Is hypersensitive and overly active for her state.
Has an anterior placenta, belive it or not. Yes she does, you need not to wonder about that anymore.
Wears horisontal stripes today to emphasise the ball she has become.
The firm ball carrying the generations to come, mucus and her son.
Always just a step away from hyperventillating due to furious anger, surprising herself with a random a orgasm on public transportation due to a few bumps in the road, collapsing from hunger in a heartbeat, or being washed over with organic euphoria due to a very small man kicking her guts.
Is still in Budapest, but days are running painfully short.
Is hypersensitive and overly active for her state.
Has an anterior placenta, belive it or not. Yes she does, you need not to wonder about that anymore.
Wears horisontal stripes today to emphasise the ball she has become.
The firm ball carrying the generations to come, mucus and her son.
Always just a step away from hyperventillating due to furious anger, surprising herself with a random a orgasm on public transportation due to a few bumps in the road, collapsing from hunger in a heartbeat, or being washed over with organic euphoria due to a very small man kicking her guts.
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