Bloody Books

I have this task.
This thing to do.
A question to answer.

How would you get people to read more books? - the Polish executive creative director asked me.

Lovely task. Books are my bread and butter, my cup of tea, my things on my bookshelf.

Well, people would read more if:

You blow up their TV, PC and bin their mobile phones.

You teach them a little line called the alphabet and the magical uses of it.

You bully them by calling them an embarrassment in public places.

You lock them in a room and don't feed them until they read like a fox.

You pay them large sums of money and offer them sexual pleasures.

You make them believe that having a degree will get them somewhere in life and send them off to university, and let the academics take care of it.

You bribe your experts into coming up with a research saying that reading books prevents all mayor illness.

Threaten them with sharp objects and Chinese milk-products.

That was easy enough.

Bright future ahead of me I can see in advertisement.